I‘m ashamed

Although there is no power to change what has already happened, there are ways for you to recover and begin to feel better. One of them is by finding out about the most common misconceptions that harass victims of sexual violence:

Self-accusation that if you had done something different this would not have happened to you (if you had chosen other clothes, if you had not gone there, etc.).

 The truth is that you are not guilty and in no way provoked the violence. It is the responsibility of the abuser.

You blame yourself for drinking, taking drugs, let someone invite you for a drink… .

 There was no way for you to know what was about to happen. This has nothing to do with the violence.

You are worried that your parents, the police or someone else will blame you for drinking, taking drugs, messing with someone / something….

 Your loved ones and the police should be interested in what you have been through. Everything else is secondary or irrelevant.

Feelings of shame, self-blame, sadness, pain, depression are so strong, as if you will never have a normal life again

 It‘s normal to feel this way. The truth is that this changes over time. The professional help of a consultant, as well as the support of relatives and friends, will help you recover faster.

You are ashamed and feel confused because you know the one who hurt you

 In most cases, the violence comes from a relative or someone you know. But it‘s not your fault. This person has abused your trust in
him.

You have nightmares and scenes from what happened appear in your mind even when you try not to think about it.

 This is normal, but you should know that it won’t always be like this. A professional counselor or trauma therapist can give you advice on how to feel better.

You are afraid of how your relatives will react and whether they will accept you once they find out.

 These are normal fears. People who are genuinely concerned about you will sympathize with you and help you recover. For those closest to you, this can be hard news to accept. If you are worried about how your parents would react and whether they would believe you, you can consult a professional 
to help you communicate it and make them  understand. It‘s important to have someone you trust.

You think that no one would understand how you feel.

 Many young people have been sexually assaulted. There are certainly other people around you who feel the same way.